Category: Memory

Music…

You Really Got Me

Van Halen

Van Halen

and Words

Girl, you really got me now
You got me so I don′t know what I’m doin′
Girl, you really got me now
You got me so I can’t sleep at night

Girl, you really got me now
You got me so I don’t know where I′m goin′, yeah
Oh yeah, you really got me now
You got me so I can’t sleep at night

Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.

For some time now, a quiet thought lingered as I wrote these posts.  Is my writing a sanitized version of the thoughts that bounce in my head?  While I definitely write about loss and even longing, it’s all neatly packaged and resolved.  It gives the quiet impression that I have my shit together, and that you can similarly magically resolve all conflict in your life.

The story I tell myself is that I choose not to write about it yet because it’s not yet complete.  To follow typical high school writing instructions, a piece needs an introduction, a body, and a conclusion.  Writing about unresolved conflict felt a bit like giving you only the first half of a book without showing how it all resolves.  Why would I write a story that leads nowhere?

Continue reading “In Praise of Van Hagar” →

Music…

Unwritten

Unwritten

Natasha Bedingfield

and Words

I am unwritten
Can′t read my mind, I’m undefined
I′m just beginning
The pen’s in my hand, ending: unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find
Reaching for something in the distance, so close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.

On a lazy weekend evening, we settle at home to watch a film.  We hadn’t yet decided on our selection, but we looked for something that would entertain us for the evening.  After looking at some trailers, we settled on the movie Anyone But You.  It seemed like a fun, light-hearted romantic comedy.  The movie didn’t disappoint; it was precisely what we needed that night.

Upon seeing the credits, I was delighted to find that Sydney Sweeney, the actress who played the lead, got top billing over her love interest, played by Glen Powell.  Both characters were likeable and flawed.  It’s refreshing to have finally escaped the misogynistic double standard about promiscuity from my youth.  Naturally, you can predict that the two of them will end up together.  Though, as with most romantic comedies, it’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey.

Continue reading “Today is where your book begins” →

Music…

Dream On

Aerosmith

Aerosmith

and Words

Every time when I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone

And it went by, like dusk to dawn
Isn′t that the way?
Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it′s everybody’s sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.

Broward Mall, the local mall where I grew up in Fort Lauderdale, sat on the corner of Broward Boulevard and University Drive.  It was a modest drive away, at 10-15 minutes by car.  However, considering that I didn’t have my own car until I had basically graduated from high school, it was somewhat inaccessible.  The times I did make it out there relied on my older sister’s generosity, since she had a car.

On a particular day during high school, I browsed the music section at Spec’s in the mall.  They played this song by Aerosmith, ‘Dream On’, over their speakers throughout the store.  I knew the song and artist; I liked the song.  Meanwhile, another patron walks up to the cashier’s station and asks about the song, insisting that he wants to buy the album.  Instead of simply making the sale, the clerk responds with, “This particular song is unlike the rest of Aerosmith’s music; you’d be better off getting the single.”

Continue reading “Dreaming of something other than dishonor” →

Music…

Where Do The Children Go

Nervous Night

The Hooters

and Words

Surrender into the night
Silently take my hand
Nobody knows what′s inside us
Nobody understands

They handed us down a dream
To live in this lonely town
But nobody hears the music
Only the echo of a hollow sound

Where do the children go
Between the bright night and darkest day?
Where do the children go
And who’s that deadly piper who leads them away?

Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.

I started college at the University of Miami in 1986.  I was a computer geek in high school and continued in college.  People looked upon computers differently back then.  In high school, we word processed and played games with computers; only a select few dared to program these machines.  I learned to program BASIC from the thick 3-ring binders that came with the computer.

I moved into Pearson Hall.  My dorm room sat in a short wing, half a flight from the lobby.  The elevator button to my floor was “R1”, for Rear 1.  All my neighbors in that short hallway were incoming freshmen, save the handful of upperclassmen from the year before that retained their dorm room.  This is where I first met George, and through him, I met other friends.

Continue reading “Where did we go indeed?” →

Music…

Blinding Lights

After Hoursy

The Weeknd

and Words

Yeah

I′ve been tryna call
I’ve been on my own for long enough
Maybe you can show me how to love, maybe
I′m goin’ through withdrawals
You don’t even have to do too much
You can turn me on with just a touch, baby

I look around and
Sin City′s cold and empty (oh)
No one′s around to judge me (oh)
I can’t see clearly when you′re gone

Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.

Back in March 2020, the world shut down.  They instructed us to work from home until it all passed; they non-ironically speculated that it’d be a few weeks.  We packed up our laptops, but our considerably more powerful desktop machines remained at work.  Being nowhere but home started to drive us a bit batty.  Our transition from ‘work’ to ‘home’ mode occurred in single-digit minutes.  A teammate had a brilliant idea; upon ending his ‘work’ day, he’d get in his car and ‘drive’ home.  I don’t know where he went, nor how long he’d drive, but he ‘drove’ home to help him separate from work.

This is genius.  Driving is therapeutic.  I lived in Fort Lauderdale when I got my driver’s license, and their public transportation system sucked.  Most classmates spent their sixteenth birthdays waiting in line for hours to get their driver’s licenses.  While I got my license when I was sixteen, I didn’t do it on my birthday.  Truthfully, I looked upon driving with a certain apathy, though that changed.

Continue reading “The Joy of the Drive” →

Music…

You Belong to the City

Above the Clouds

Glenn Frey

and Words

The Sun goes down, the night rolls in
You can feel it starting all over again
The moon comes up and the music calls
You′re getting tired of staring at the same four walls

You’re out of your room and down on the street
You can feel the crowds in the midnight heat
The traffic roars, the sirens scream
Look at the faces, it′s just like a dream

Nobody knows where you’re going
Nobody cares where you’ve been

Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.

Miami Vice premiered while I was in high school.  They integrated popular music into their television show, being among the first to do so.  In fact, some popular music was only released initially on their soundtrack.  At least among my age group, this show forced you to watch, even in its Friday night time slot.  However, it wasn’t simply about the music.  Their themes were uncharacteristically gritty; for instance, they killed Jimmy Smits’s character after one episode.  It felt real.

Furthermore, Miami is a few miles from my childhood home of Fort Lauderdale.  We buried my dad’s remains in Miami, so we would drive down to visit them regularly.  The city maintains that unmistakable Latin flavor from my days in Puerto Rico, albeit with a more pronounced Cuban twist.  As I approached my senior year in high school, I spent a summer at the University of Miami studying engineering.  Upon finishing high school that year, I decided to continue my education at Miami.

Continue reading “Belonging to Miami” →

Music…

Lights

Infinity

Journey

and Words

When the lights go down in the city
And the sun shines on the bay
Ooh I want to be there in my city
Oh-ooh-oh
Oh-ooh-oh, oh-ooh-oh

So you think you′re lonely
Well my friend, I’m lonely too
I wanna get back to my city by the bay
Whoa-oh, oh-ooh-oh

Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.

I first experienced the city of San Francisco when I was a young child.  My immediate family and close friends flew into the city for a day or so.  It must’ve been around 1976, since my dad was still alive.  I only wore a thin, light blue jacket, made by my mom.  She had meticulously made Chinese knot buttons for that jacket, which certainly made me look like a young Chinese boy.  I remember how much time it took her to assemble each button, and it fascinated me.

I was very cold while we traversed the streets of San Francisco; it was the coldest I had been in my young life.  The skies gleamed a bright blue without any clouds; the sun shone brightly on that day.  I looked up from the sidewalk and gazed upon the buildings that extended up as far as my mind could imagine.  The slope of the streets seared into my short, aching legs.  Though I don’t remember seeing any specific sights, I distinctly remember the city. 

Continue reading “That City by the Bay” →

Music…

The Sad Cafe

The Long Run

Eagles

and Words

Out in the shiny night
The rain was softly falling
Tracks that ran down the boulevard
Had all been washed away

Out of the silver light
The past came softly calling
And I remember the times we spent
Inside the sad cafe

Oh it seemed like a holy place
Protected by amazing grace
We would sing right out loud
The things we could not say

Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.

After our move from the sunny island of Puerto Rico at the age of 10, I grew up on the southeastern coast of Florida.  My childhood home sat about a 20-minute drive from the beaches of Fort Lauderdale.  Having spent my entire life among palm trees and perpetual sun, I found little need to wander out onto the beaches.  Early on, my life centered around my bicycle.  As I grew older, video games filled my world.

On occasion, we would drive down to Miami to visit my father’s gravesite at a cemetery off Calle Ocho.  For a while, we attended a Chinese Baptist Church in Miami, though that drive proved to be too long on each Sunday morning.  However, we typically remained north of Miami.  The southeast coast of Florida didn’t have a Chinatown where Chinese businesses clustered, like many other cities.  Instead, they were scattered almost at random.

Continue reading “Returning to my sad café” →

Music…

Magic Power

Allied Forces

Triumph

and Words

Something′s at the edge of your mind
You don’t know what it is
Something you were hoping to find
But you′re not sure what it is
Then you hear the music
And it all comes crystal clear
The music does the talking
Says the things you want to hear

I’m young, I’m wild and I′m free
Got the magic power of the music in me
I′m young, I’m wild and I′m free
Got the magic power of the music in me

Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.

On a typical morning in 2000, I wandered into work.  I was a software developer on Microsoft Windows.  Traditionally, Microsoft prided itself on very lenient flex time, allowing employees to come in whenever they liked and get their work done.  The particular hours didn’t matter.  Unfortunately, some coordination with other teams meant that this was suspended for now.  I arrived around 10 am and immediately looked at the most urgent issues, the stress failures.

Most programmers had several computers.  They instructed everyone to install a recent build of Windows and run a set of stress tests as we left for the day.  All these computers had a remote debugger attached to investigate any problems.  These computers, generally used for testing, were to be returned to normal use by 1 pm.  Arriving at 10 am gave me a three-hour window to investigate any issues we found overnight.  The command used to connect to that computer was named remote, so we referred to each such investigation request as a ‘remote’.

Continue reading “What is my Magic Power?” →