and Words
Every time when I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
And it went by, like dusk to dawn
Isn′t that the way?
Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay
Yeah, I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it′s everybody’s sin
You got to lose to know how to win
Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.
Broward Mall, the local mall where I grew up in Fort Lauderdale, sat on the corner of Broward Boulevard and University Drive. It was a modest drive away, at 10-15 minutes by car. However, considering that I didn’t have my own car until I had basically graduated from high school, it was somewhat inaccessible. The times I did make it out there relied on my older sister’s generosity, since she had a car.
On a particular day during high school, I browsed the music section at Spec’s in the mall. They played this song by Aerosmith, ‘Dream On’, over their speakers throughout the store. I knew the song and artist; I liked the song. Meanwhile, another patron walks up to the cashier’s station and asks about the song, insisting that he wants to buy the album. Instead of simply making the sale, the clerk responds with, “This particular song is unlike the rest of Aerosmith’s music; you’d be better off getting the single.”
I’m not sure why I remember that clerk’s response now, even decades later. I imagine they have long since forgotten that conversation with that patron on that particular day. I discovered more of Aerosmith’s music over the years, both older and new releases. I concur with that clerk; this particular song is unlike the others they released.
Aerosmith released ‘Dream On’ on their debut album in 1973, long before streaming music services existed. Their music has spanned over fifty years. This song remains the most popular in their catalog. This fact doesn’t really surprise me; it’s my favorite song in their catalog as well. That said, I’d like to reflect upon some history.
This album, the eponymous debut Aerosmith album, was released in 1973 and recorded in October 1972. Steven Tyler, lead singer for Aerosmith, wrote the song; he was 24 years old at the time. Personally, I don’t know what you were doing at the age of 24, but I know that I didn’t have the self-awareness and reflection at that age to think about or even articulate these words. This song permeates an old-world, even eternal, wisdom that surprises me even today.
Years later, upon Aerosmith’s resurgent, or perhaps continued, popularity, they were interviewed on TV. When asked, “You’re rock stars, where did all the money go?” Their plain response was “up my nose”, which I assumed to be cocaine. I appreciated their honest response, but also judged them (at least at the time). Maybe the idea of beautiful prose coming from a source that was under the influence surprised (or even frustrated) me. Though, to be fair, their money (and thus access to cocaine) probably came after their debut album.
When my (now) wife and I started to date decades ago, streaming music did not yet exist. People had barely started ripping their music libraries into a digital-only format. As a romantic gesture, I burned a collection of songs onto a mix CD, a set of songs to remind her of me. Aerosmith’s ‘Dream On’ was on that disc. She enjoyed the rest of the music on that disc, but not this song. It’s not that she disliked the song per se, but it awakened a memory that wasn’t entirely blissful. Who am I to argue? After all, I’ve dedicated this site to that very notion.
She never elaborated on that memory, and I never asked. Was I curious? Naturally, but we all deserve our privacy. I imagine that the story behind that song is considerably more boring than it sounds decades later. During our time together, we spent more time watching movies or television than listening to music. However, when we did listen to music together, I made a point of avoiding this song, even if among my favorites. It’s the sort of small gesture that we do for love.
While it may sound like a monumentally romantic gesture, it’s not that grand. There’s plenty of my music that she does not enjoy, detests even. To add the one song that she may otherwise enjoy but triggers a bad memory to the ‘do not play with her’ collection, is quite trivial.
Years later, we watched a film called Miracle about a little hockey game. In 1980, the US Olympic hockey team faced the Soviet team. This matchup represented the Olympic hockey equivalent of ‘David versus Goliath’. The story follows Herb Brooks, the coach for the US team, as he navigates family life and decisions that shape the team that he will eventually take to the Olympics. He took players from mostly two college teams that hated each other, into one cohesive team.
When it came down to one of the final roster decisions, he brought in a player late in the process as a possible member. Some players approached him and made the case for excluding this new player. Herb Brooks asked why; their response? “Because we’re a family.” They were ready.
The movie ends with the monumental match between the US and the Soviets. The match is naturally laced with all the political implications of the era. It takes place in Lake Placid, NY. As the game progresses, you can hear the US faithful chant “USA! USA! USA!”. As the credits roll, they include a short description of each player and where they are today. We noticed a disproportionate number of them end up in the financial industry.
What song played with those credits as they rolled? Aerosmith’s ‘Dream On’. With us, it’s become synonymous with the spirit of this fight. With her, it obliterated that lasting bad memory of this song.
It’s January 6th, 2020. I sit in my living room as I watch a mob attack our US Capitol building as Congress tries to certify the election. These thugs chant “USA!” as they approach the building. They put up a makeshift gallows and chant “Hang Mike Pence!”. Upon breaking into the building, they permeate through everything and even smear feces on the walls of the Capitol building.
These treasonous thugs literally shit on our country. Right now, when I hear ‘Dream On’, I first think about this game. Next, I remember the voices chanting “USA!” Finally, I land on this particular moment of shame and dishonor. I’m sure that the years will heal those wounds, the PTSD will eventually dissipate, and the good memories will outlive the bad ones, but that hasn’t happened yet.
Until that day comes, I continue to listen to this song, and it saddens me.